{Gratitude Post}

I've been wondering lately why I refrain from blogging or "updating my facebook status" about anything negative that goes on in my life. I think it's my way of dealing with hard times. I think if I have everyone else believing I have the perfect life than I too will believe this and guess what? I DO. It hit me like a wall of bricks today. I DO have the perfect life.

Mentally I have had an especially hard month. Whether it be from the new tantrum throwing stage of Miss Addy, the uncomfortableness and stress of being pregnant, or that Ryan is so busy with school right now I feel like a single parent, it has just been hard. Mostly it has been hard for me to deal with Adalee. I feel like all I do all day is get frustrated with her. It is really hard to communicate with her in a way that she understands and I find myself thinking she should know better than that. But why? Why should a 21 month old know that it's not okay to throw a tantrum (especially in public), not share toys, pull the dvd's off the shelf, make messes, etc.? She is still young and I need to be reminded daily of that. I don't like the way I have been handling these tough times with her and I am really trying to work on my patience.

After telling you all of the not so good things going on in life right now you are probably wondering how I think I have the perfect life. A couple months ago my sister had me read a blog about a husband and wife who lost their 18 month old. She was Addy's age. Their only child. And I sobbed. After reading a friends blog today I was linked to this family's blog again and was once again brought to tears, lot's of them. How can I not think I have the perfect life when everything I've ever wanted is right here with me? It made me look at my situation right now in a whole different perspective. Yes, Addy is hard right now. So hard. But guess what? I still have her. She is right here with me and I need to slow down my life and take it all in. I need to take in every moment of her precious life because we don't know when it will be taken from us. When I look back on my days spent with her I want to have no regrets. Thinking about this mom's situation I realized I would take every single "awful" tantrum throwing, hair pulling, naughty moment in place of losing her because being her mother is the greatest blessing I could ever experience.

I've been thinking a lot lately. About life. About trials. About the people I love. I have come to realize just how much I have to be grateful for.

I really like this quote by Robert D. Hales:

"Gratitude on a daily basis means we express appreciation for what we have now without qualification for what we had in the past or desire in the future."

So today I am grateful for

A daughter who brings a smile to my face every day.

The wonderful strong women I am surrounded by who are always looking for ways to serve one another.

A surprise package I received in the mail from my sister after a hard day.

My hard working husband. I have never seen someone work so hard and yet he still finds time everyday to spend with Adalee and I.

Phone calls and texts from friends checking up on me even though they live far away.

My baby boy giving me kicks and squirms reminding me of the wonderful opportunity I have been given to bring another sweet spirit into this world.

My beautiful home.

I know I already said I was thankful for Miss Addy, but I REALLY am so grateful for her. For all she teaches me. For all of my sweet moments spent with her.

My perfect life

This is a wonderful time. A time for growth. A time to rely on my Heavenly Father. A time to lean on my husband. A time to truly live and appreciate the perfect life I have been given. A time to show how grateful I truly am.